I keep meaning to just sit and write. Seriously, I do... Let's just say that I am just as lazy, and just as big of a procrastinator as I always have been. Good to know some things never change. I need to do this during the day. I used to do it late at night, but now my nights are for sleeping. I am officially old. I am literally in bed, asleep by 930pm almost every night. Tonight being the exception to that rule..call it the joys of responsible parenting, or the "I get no respect" problem, or the "welcome back to your life where you are the teacher in Charlie Brown" syndrome. Ugh, sometimes life is easier with your eyes closed...
The last few months have been incredible! I have really gotten back into the "swing" of my life. Running around, dropping kids here and there, getting to the gym, going to the market, doing laundry, cleaning up, etc. Camp has begun, schedules are getting hectic, carpooling, working in the nap for the little one, and, yes...I still have help. Aura is with us and a huge help with balancing what I need to get done with what I want to get done.
I am sometimes able to get to the gym 5 times a week. And let me tell you, the 35 pounds I have put on since the stroke are not coming off any other way! I am half way to my goal weight, and have discovered the joy (and pain) of kickboxing! Great workout! I have also discovered the pain of being almost 40...lower back has gone out twice in the last month...OLD. Am having problems with fatigue, and wondering how much is stroke recovery or vacation recovery, how much is working out/not working out, how much is eyes, and how much is just plain "I don't want to." Not that I tend to overthink things...in the least bit.
It has been almost 9 months since my stroke, and wow, how different things are. I go to a stroke survivor group once a month and together with my fellow survivors and our caregivers I learn to move forward every day and push myself to strive for goals that for me are my "Mt. Everest" to climb, but for most people are taken for granted.
One of our members put on a presentation last session that was so strikingly well done, I am back to blogging! But seriously, this is a man who was in the prime of his life, had a great career, family, goals, plans, and got hit with a devastating stroke. He he had to learn to do the basics that I was fortunate enough to have intact...walking, talking, etc. He had to start all over again with learning the same things I am teaching my children to do now: tying shoes, math, reading, spelling, everything.
Talk about putting your problems in perspective. And yet, all problems are relative. How much respect are you really going to get after coming back from something like this? Sure, the first few months are the "amazing recovery" and the continual support, but then...life happens again, and you are back to the place you were before the rug got ripped out from under you. You can be the "bad cop" parent again, and the feelings of self-doubt about your role as a parent when you feel you are totally on your own in some things come back full-force and the stroke was just something that happened...a long time ago...and finally plays no part in the day to day humdrum of life. At least in your eyes...
Until next time...
No comments:
Post a Comment